It seems only natural that the first post should be about the title of the blog - Cake in October. Why did I pick this name for the blog? One of the first things I worried about when I was diagnosed was "how will this affect my children?" I am fortunate to have a strong support network and a good family (you all will never know how much you mean to me).
I think it is amazing how children process the world. James (my 5-year old) knows I am sick but doesn't understand what that means....his life hasn't changed that much. I have slowed down, and I have been to many appointments, but his everyday life has remained stable. As a Mom, I have always enjoyed experiencing Life through my children's eyes. My first experience with this "cancer journey" through James' eyes was during a conversation he had while at lunch with his teacher, Ms. Cathy. She was asking him questions and doing a quick check-in with James to see how he was feeling.
I think it is amazing how children process the world. James (my 5-year old) knows I am sick but doesn't understand what that means....his life hasn't changed that much. I have slowed down, and I have been to many appointments, but his everyday life has remained stable. As a Mom, I have always enjoyed experiencing Life through my children's eyes. My first experience with this "cancer journey" through James' eyes was during a conversation he had while at lunch with his teacher, Ms. Cathy. She was asking him questions and doing a quick check-in with James to see how he was feeling.
James: "My mommy is going to be so sick sometimes she won't be able to get off the sofa. I just hope she is better by October."
Ms. Cathy: "Why October?"
James: "It's my birthday and I really want my mom to eat birthday cake with me."
Ms. Cathy: "Well James, if your Mom doesn't feel good, do you know what you can do?"
James: "What?"
Ms. Cathy: "If your mom is too sick in October, you can freeze the cake and eat it later when she feels better."
James, happy with the explanation, skipped about the rest of his day. When we were eating dinner that night, he told me about the chat with Ms. Cathy.
Ms. Cathy: "Well James, if your Mom doesn't feel good, do you know what you can do?"
James: "What?"
Ms. Cathy: "If your mom is too sick in October, you can freeze the cake and eat it later when she feels better."
James, happy with the explanation, skipped about the rest of his day. When we were eating dinner that night, he told me about the chat with Ms. Cathy.
That's how I got the title Cake in October.
I'm not naive but I can pray and make small goals.
Goal #1: Eat Birthday cake with James in October:)
I hope and pray I will be well enough to eat cake with my sweet boy on his 6th birthday. I think it's so innocent and pure how James' five year old mind understands me being sick. I wish all he had to worry about through this battle was me eating birthday cake with him in October.
I'm not naive but I can pray and make small goals.
Goal #1: Eat Birthday cake with James in October:)
Picture of me with James on Jockey Ridge, Outer Banks June 2014.
I love this anecdote, Lori. Your post really speaks to the bond you and James must have. I'll be reading!
ReplyDeleteAnd it will be the BEST cake you ever ate. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are one of the most courageous people I know, Lori. You, Daniel, James, and Grace are about to find out just how many people love you, and just how very much they do.
ReplyDeleteNow im in tears at a large swim meet! What a sweet boy that James is and your love for your children is powerful...it will have you fighting to eat cake in October! Love you!
ReplyDelete